Happy first day of Fall! Or Autumn? Which do you say? Autumn seems formal to me and I never say it, but I do like it on signs and note cards.
It doesn't quite feel like Fall yet in Texas. The forecast for the next 10 days has us peeking into the low 90s for highs. And really, this shouldn't be a shock to me. I've resided in Texas my whole live long life! Except for three months of EUPHORIA in Yellowstone National Park back in my college days. I was there from mid-May to mid-August of 1995 and it snowed at least once each month I was there. That was an adventure for this Texas gal all by itself.
I'm a roots girl who thinks she want's to be less bound. I'm sure it's a natural progression of life. My son, my one and only child, is a senior this year. We are way busy with college plans. Testing, and applying, and preparing for auditions. And once he starts college, what next? I mean, I know there is more. I look forward to days of not being bound by a public school schedule. But I'll miss it too. Mostly, I'll miss what I already miss - his littleness, and introducing him to the new and novel.
I'm excited for him too. He will be finding his own path and he has plans. Big plans. I'm looking forward to him seeing them through. Though knowing he will have heartbreaks along the way, makes me want to steel my heart - an impossibility really. Mommas of boys, you understand, right?
Amid all these feels, however, is a sense that I need to step back, to pare down, and to adventure more. It's confusing really. I pray for clarity and there are times when I see the path I should take so clearly, it's as if God wrote a love letter right on my heart. But mostly, I feel like I'm treading water, not sure which way is the shore. I don't blame God for this. I'm positive He's there, waiting to guide me, as soon as I'm ready to focus on Him and listen. Why is that so hard to do?