Thursday, January 24, 2013

so I drank the orange juice

I've been doing the Weight Watchers for 2 weeks and 3 days now.

It's going well. I have been able to stay within my points target and I'm not walking around in a state of hunger.

I think I can do this. Like, forever.

It's true what they say. Planning is key. I am improving on the planning part. And I am praying, because I know I can't do it alone.

Today was a challenging day. Ste was sick and I stayed home with him. There was excessive sleeping, weird eating times, and an emotional visit with an aunt.

Still, when evening came, I had plenty of points left for Taco Soup with baked tortilla chips and light cheese and a Weight Watchers treat for dessert. Nice.

Then I streamed the latest episode of Parenthood. {Love that show. Cry. Every.Single.Episode!}Anyways, there was a commercial for orange juice. And that was it. I had to have orange juice. Delicious, cold orange juice. BUT... no points!

I ignored it for a while. And then I remembered that I'm not dieting. I'm changing habits. For life. I'm not always going to be able to stay within a points parameter. I don't live in a vacuum of perfect structure and laid out meals from here to eternity.

Besides, drinking orange isn't what made me fat.

So I drank the orange juice.

And I'm ok with it.

[week 2 weigh in: total of 8.4 lbs lost.]

Friday, January 18, 2013

The post in which I talk about being Fat...

Even as I'm typing this, I'm not sure I'll hit the publish button. But I feel driven to put it down in writing. And if I can't put down my most constant and hindering struggle on my blog, what's the point of my having a blog at all? This is the journal of my life. And only posting the highlights makes it seem fake. And whatever else I may be, "fake" is not one of my characteristics. In fact, "fake" people make my ass twitch.

See, I already feel kind of guilty about saying ass in this post. Because I'm also going to talk about God. And surely a woman who declares she is a Christian wouldn't say ass. But there's that fake thing again. Because I cuss every day. I'm not proud. It is just a fact. My son will tell you I have a problem with the word whore. It's true. I drop something, I say, "You whore!" I don't know why. And I AM working on that. That's part of me I don't like. But, I say it. That's a fact.

It is also a fact that I am fat. Obese. Fluffy. Living large. I don't think I've hidden that fact on my blog, but I typically only post pictures of myself from the shoulders up. And if more than one of my chins are showing, I edit the extras off. {ummm..FAKE!}'s the most recent full body picture I have of myself and it was taken last June. LAST June. I don't want to be afraid of the camera anymore.

Since I'm being honest {not fake} - I also edit my eyes in hopes of lessening the appearance of my undereye baggage. Here ya go - full on baggy eyes picture.

{hey, I didn't say I wasn't cute!...wink, wink}

Ok, I'm losing track. The point of this post is to say I am doing Weight Watchers. Again. I'm trying to change my habits. Again. Only, I don't want to say "again." It's just that when you've tried to lose weight as often as I have and you have don't want anyone to have the chance to say it first. A lady in my Weight Watchers meeting on Monday evening started crying as she shared she was keeping her participation a secret from her husband. She just couldn't bear to see the disappointment on his face if she FAILED. Again.

I get this. Though the disappointed face I don't want to see is my own.

On to the most important reason for my post today. My friend, Cindy, is on this weight loss journey with me. We attend meetings together. We were IM'ing this morning. I was lamenting over just HOW MUCH weight I need to lose overall. She was encouraging me to make smaller goals, take it a day at a time, etc. At the conclusion of our conversation, I picked up Jesus Calling, a devotional I am reading daily. For January 18, I read:

I am leading you along the high road, but there are descents as well as ascents. In the distance you see snow-covered peaks glistening in brilliant sunlight. Your longing to reach those peaks is good, but you must not take shortcuts. Your assignment is to follow Me, allowing Me to direct your path. Let the heights beckon you onward, but stay close to Me.

Oh, the JOY I felt at reading those words! The reassurance that he knows me! That this would be the devotional I read on the exact day that I needed it. Encouraging me to perservere and work for my goal and accept it will take time, there will be struggles, but if I follow Him I will soar.

You see, sometimes I think my weight loss is part of a bigger plan the Lord has for me. In my heart, I believe if I can conquer, if I can trust in the Lord to help me conquer, this weight loss thing, that he will reveal to me other pieces of His plan along the way.

And it will be greater than anything I can possibly imagine from where I am standing now.

By the way, week one and down 4.4 lbs.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

This was good

I'm not a fan of the grocery store. Or menu planning. I don't mind cooking though. When the kitchen is clean to start with, I'd actually say cooking is enjoyable; time well-spent. Unfortunately, for most of the past year, the combination of my first two statements has meant lots of eating out and picking up prepared food on the way home from work. And all three of us have the expanded waistlines to show it. What a waste of money too!

I've thought about making some sort of menu board to aid in menu planning and grocery shopping, but several searches through pinterest left me feeling lackluster. Everything I saw was either too involved, or ineffectually simplistic. However, last night I noticed this (pic below) menu board my niece Cathy pinned. It's perfect. Simple, but effective. I'm going to create something similar.

Along the same lines, I made something pretty good and easy for supper tonight. I had skinless, boneless chicken breasts in the freezer. I put them in the crockpot. I peppered them, then squeezed the juice of one lime over, followed by a package of Good Seasons Garlic and Herb salad dressing mix. I cooked on low for about three and a half hours. It turned out really tasty and tender. I actually cooked it a little longer than three and half hours, but I think that time would be perfect for a little more moisty juiciness! ;) I heated up leftover blackeyed peas, boiled some potatoes and topped with a bit of butter and fresh dill, and baked some cornbread. YUM!

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

I resolve

Wow, where have I been? I didn't post for all of December. Didn't have a post in me, I suppose.
So here it is, Jan. 2. Five years ago today, I lost my sweet and lovely dad. Suddenly and without warning. Bleh. I miss him. But, I don't wish he was here. I'm glad he's in heaven rejoicing and praising God. My dad praising God! Can't wait to see that. I get my reservedness from my daddy. So I know how extra wonderful it must have been for him to shake loose the reservations that plagued on this earth and all out praise his Heavenly Father! Can't wait until the day I'm there beside him doing the same!
I'm still off work. Yes! I go back on Jan 7 and so am spending these last few days with my irascible son. [I don't know if I spelled that right, but I don't feel like checking to see.] Stephen is a mischievious scamp. Seriously. He makes me alternately laugh and want to pull all my hairs out.
I don't have any pics to share this post. I didn't take many this season. But I will share what I have on a later post.
It's a new year. And I resolve NOT to have a New Year's resolution. Seriously, they don't work for me anyway. Last year, I decided to get all trendy and pick a word for the year. I picked INTENTIONAL. As in, be intentional in my choices, activities, eating, etc. Well, I could not have had a more UNintentional year.
So I will simply strive to be better, which is what I always strive for.
Welcome 2013. Let's see what your days will reveal.