Fall in my "neck of the woods"

The last few days the leaves in my part of the world have come into peak. Since most of my daylight hours are spent in the city, in an office building, in a cubicle, I kept forgetting to grab my camera and get some shots on my drive home. Today, still no camera, but I decided to grab a shot with my cell phone at my favorite overlook on my commute. It was a cloudy day today, but you can still see the deep, burnished colors of our North Texas Fall. So lovely!

And below is our front yard Sweet Gum and Fire bush. While I was taking these pics in the front yard, I was listening to the wind blow and pecans from our neighbors pecan tree fall to the ground. I love the sweet sounds of Fall.

16

I still call you my baby. You tolerate it. Just one of the many things that make you awesomely you.

I'm still discovering the depth and breadth of the blessing that is you.

Watching you grow has been my greatest joy. Watching your life unfold will be my enduring joy.

Happy Birthday baby boy!

Surgery survived

Ste's knee surgery was yesterday. His ACL was reconstructed using a piece of his patellar tendon. That's weird to me. Ligament replaced with a tendon. I suppose I should read up on the differences just to have the knowledge. His meniscus could not be repaired, so they trimmed it up to ensure the fragments can't catch in the joint.

We stayed overnight and he was dismissed at 5:30 this morning. None of us have slept much. Ste's pain has been high today. Watching your child hurt is the pits. Hoping for good rest for him tonight, and less pain with each passing day.

Spilled coffee, and other things I won't let ruin my day

I always buy coffee at McDonalds in the mornings on my way to work. It's convenient, and McDonalds does coffee right.

This morning I stopped at my usual McDonalds, ordered my usual coffee and egg white delight, and drove up to the window only to have the large, hot coffee SPILLED into my window, and onto my lap. It burned a little, but not long, and the thigh of my right leg was completely soaked. After getting a second cup of coffee,[because I'm addicted], I pulled into a parking space and got out to mop up the mess.

With everything as clean as I could get with disintegrating napkins, I realized I was going to be late for work.

Sigh.

I actually thought to myself, "This should put me in a bad mood."
But I didn't want to be in a bad mood.

Last evening had been spent with other band moms, putting together spirit cans/noisemakers for upcoming competitions. That was joyful!

I had visited with my son this morning and got to tell him that the Lord truly blessed me when He made him my son. That right there? JOY

There's a decent cool front on the way for the weekend and October is my favorite month of the year!

These are just a few of the wonderul happenings in my life at the moment. So I decided not to give in to the negative. I've decided I don't want my emotions or moods to be so easily controlled by societal norms, or my perception of them.

I'm realizing I've been living a life over the last couple of years, of letting life "happen" rather living purposefully.

It's time for a change.


And on other joyful notes ♪ ♫ ....

I found a piano on craigslist and bought it! I'm thinking piano lessons might be in my future.

Guess who else likes Aunt Mamy's piano? My great nephew Aiden!

 I really need to get my big girl camera out and practice...

Pity party over, and our town's annual Pioneer Day

A quick comment on my last post.  I'm happy to say the pity party is over. I sometimes get stymied by life's happenings. We all do, right? About 10 minutes after I posted that entry, I contemplated deleting it. I decided not to because it's real. It is how I was feeling and those feelings are something I struggle with from time to time. I learn daily and learning means growth. I can live with people knowing that about me. :)

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Today was our town's annual Pioneer Day celebration. We woke up to deliciously cool weather. The town square was bustling as I drove Stephen to the band hall to prepare for the parade. He couldn't march this year due to his knee, but they made accomodations....by strapping a chair into the back of the band director's truck. That's where Ste rode for the parade!

He was glad he got to participate! 

After the parade, the band performed on the town square. Here's our tuba players:

Go Band!!

Comparison and all that

I ask Him why a lot. As in, "Why me?" or "Why not me?" And I listen. Waiting for the answer as if a note is going to drift down from the heavens and, not only answer my question, but also give me a timeline and what to do in the meantime.

This "why me or why not me" stuff is not new. I clearly  remember as child imploring to the heavens, "God! Why do I have to be shy AND chubby AND have this damnable dry skin?" Ok, I probably didn't utter the word damnable, but, you know what I mean. Surely there was no other girl on earth that had to deal with all THREE of these traits at ONCE!

My whys are different now. But probably no more mature. No more thought out and reflected upon.

"Why can't I have the fulfilling career I want, exactly how I want it?"
"Why do these awesome God filled things seem to happen to EVERYone but ME?

I'm not proud of the questions.

I'm not proud of the self-pity.

I KNOW how blessed I am. How LOVED I am...by my Father in heaven, by my husband, my son and my circle of family and friends.

But I still ask, "WHY can't I hear You speak to me Lord? Why don't You show me what to do to achieve my dreams? Why are THEY more special? More deserving?"

I read blogs. Blogs I LOVE to read. And I'm jealous. I compare. And I know comparison is the thief of joy and all that. I KNOW it. Yet, I still want to crawl into their situation. I want to be MORE than I am. For me, for my husband, for my son, for Him. But I don't know how. And I sometimes...for real... feel like He selfishly just won't tell me or show me what steps to take. And I'm ashamed for feeling that way.

But, then sometimes, I realize the problem is my lack of praying, my lack of LISTENING for an answer, and my lack of DOING.

This is my struggle right now.

Humbly,

~Amy

I need a shoe-tervention

I have a shoe problem.
No, not too many (though my husband might argue that).
I'm a failure at picking out shoes. That I'll wear more than one time....
I need help! Can you help me?
I need a few pair of comfortable shoes, that will match a variety of outfits. Any suggestions?

This is the shoe I'm wearing today. {cell phone pic}

 

It is a comfortable shoe by Bjorndal. I like these shoes. But the heel..yes that teeny heel, makes my calves hurt if I have to run any errands in them. The are fine for the minimal walking I do at work. There's a big BUT though! As I walk, the hem of my pants suck down into the back of my shoe. OY...shoe problem!

Ok, help me! If you have some shoe suggestions, please leave them in comments! Casual and work wear! :)

~Amy